Saturday mornings are sacred to me. A time for peace, coffee, and pretending the outside world doesn’t exist.
So naturally, Lin Yao destroyed that sacredness by kicking the blanket off me and declaring, “We’re going on a double date today!”
I groaned. “Can’t we double date our couch and silence instead?”
“Nope,” she said cheerfully. “You’re meeting my best friend and her boyfriend. You have two hours to emotionally prepare.”
“Is there a reason I’m being punished?”
She leaned closer and whispered, “Because you married me.”
I sighed. “Do they even know I exist?”
“Oh, absolutely. I’ve already told them you’re smart, capable, and mildly unhinged.”
“Mildly?”
“Okay, moderately. But with good skin.”
—
By noon, we were seated at a trendy café with her best friend, Yueyue, a peppy girl with sparkly eyeliner, and her boyfriend, Jun Hao, a guy so muscular I felt personally attacked just sitting next to him.
Yueyue immediately leaned across the table and said, “So this is the Shen Xing?”
Lin Yao beamed. “Yup. Fully housebroken.”
Jun Hao gave me a respectful nod. “Nice to meet you, man.”
I nodded back. “Likewise.”
Then Yueyue turned to Lin Yao and said in a voice that could barely contain her mischief, “So… what’s he like in bed?”
I choked on my lemonade.
Lin Yao didn’t miss a beat. “He likes to sleep diagonally and steals all the covers.”
Jun Hao chuckled. “Man. She wasn’t kidding. You really are suffering.”
“I’m a victim,” I muttered.
—
Somehow the topic shifted to games. Yueyue suggested we play a couple’s challenge on the café’s tablet menu, the kind where you answer personal questions and your partner has to match your answers.
I gave Lin Yao a wary glance. “You’re scarily good at guessing what I’m thinking.”
She smirked. “You’re scarily bad at hiding it.”
The game began.
Question 1: What’s your partner’s favorite food?
I answered soup dumplings.
She answered soup dumplings.
A match.
Question 2: What does your partner do when they’re mad?
I typed silently stare at a wall like a brooding anime character.
She typed sulk in corners and overwater the plants.
Another match.
Jun Hao blinked. “You guys are… terrifyingly in sync.”
Question 3: What’s the first thing your partner noticed about you?
I hesitated. Then typed: Her weird, chaotic energy.
She typed: That I’m amazing. Also chaotic.
We both smiled. Another match.
Yueyue stared at us. “Wait. Are you two actually in love?”
I looked at Lin Yao.
She looked at me.
We both said, “No.”
Jun Hao raised an eyebrow. “That was too synchronized.”
—
After the café, we strolled through a park. Yueyue and Jun Hao walked ahead, holding hands.
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “They’re a little too perfect, don’t you think?”
Lin Yao walked beside me, arms swinging. “Jealous?”
“No. Just suspicious. I’ve never seen a couple not argue over where to eat.”
She nudged me. “We argue about everything.”
“Exactly. That’s realistic.”
She gave me a side glance. “You think we’re realistic?”
I shrugged. “As realistic as a marriage that started because of our parents’ weird arrangement and your persistent bullying.”
She laughed. “It’s not bullying. It’s aggressive affection.”
“…That makes it worse.”
She suddenly stopped walking. “Hey.”
I turned. “What?”
She looked oddly serious. “I know I annoy you. Constantly.”
I blinked. “That’s not exactly a revelation.”
She didn’t laugh. “But… thanks for putting up with me.”
There was a pause. The kind where you don’t know if the conversation is about to go deeper or derail completely.
Then she added, “Also, I secretly replaced your coffee with decaf all week. Just wanted to confess.”
“…I take back every nice thought I just had.”
She grinned. “There were nice thoughts?!”
I started walking away. “I’m revoking them.”
She skipped to catch up. “Aw, come on, husband. You love me.”
I gave her a sidelong glance. “You’re like caffeine withdrawal, but with glitter.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
And as she linked her arm with mine, smiling like she just won a prize, I realized that maybe—just maybe—I was enjoying this twisted, chaotic thing we had.
Which, frankly, was terrifying.
